4/30/2006
Jen and I attend Christ Church of Oronogo in Oronogo, MO. Being a rather charismatic worship leader one would think that I might express myself in the somewhat the same way but not so. I have a journal that Jen made for me 5 years ago. When I finish with papers inside she binds them into a book and refills the leather pouch with a new clean set of brown pages for me to fill. One of my main pathways to God is surely through journaling. This is what I do at church on Sunday mornings. I find myself writing feverishly fast! If someone was to just glance at me they might thing that I was completely unaware of the world around me; but quite the contrary I am engaged completely. I usually only take that specific journal to church and it is reflected by the subject matter that finds its way onto the page. It is much more reflective, praise oriented, big life pictures with lots of thanks and prayers. Today I was reminded of a church in Nashville that I have visited 3 times. Although I have only attended services at Bethel world outreach center my vision for local church art departments has been drastically formed by what I experienced there. “I was born on Saturday and in church on Sunday” to quote Brian Duncan’s “Mr. Bailey had a daughter”. (Check it out if you haven’t). Because Dad has an Otaku (something more than a hobby; but a little bit less than an obsession – from “Purple Cow”) for going to special churches I have a unique church background. We generally attended independent Christian churches; but the Baptist churches had all the great concerts so I frequented many of their services. We attended a church of the Boston Movement for awhile. We attended a non-instrumental church for awhile. We attended an African American gathering of worshipers for some time as well. (It was here I was reared in the proper tempo of hymns.) All of these church communities had something very special and I inherited that element in my own faith walk suitcase. While all Christians are called to an intimate experience with Jesus there is purpose and sacramental quality to our fellowship in the body. When we come together for worship on the first day of the week and call on our Lord to fall upon us (differing from the indwelling of the Holy Spirit) we expect a holy encounter. This is my element. I am a community guy. I am recharged in community sometimes more than solidarity. I love God’s design. I love our church. If you are ever in Nashville check out Bethel. What they do is great for them and it can’t be copied everywhere (nor should it); but they have a sense of koninia, in the general assembly time, that is inspiring.
4/29/2006
Draft day! If I have said it once I have said it at least once before to Scotty or something, “Mike Shanahan makes his money right now.” I have been a firm believer that he works the draft and the acquisition of the right players like nobody else in the business. Today doubt has entered my soul. Jake Plummer led the Broncos to the AFC championship. We could have won that game. Why do we need a quarterback? I am not saying that I had a better pick; but I really anticipated a next level player in the tight end or wide receiver position. I don’t know what to think about this. It has been raining here for 3 days and when I get back from Washington the grass is going to be so high I won’t be able to mow it. Tonight is movie night at our house. Jen and I are going to make popcorn and the whole family will pile on the couch for some Disney movie. I am packing. I leave tomorrow night from Tulsa, OK. Monday morning I am going to tour the Washington Mall and Smithsonian before heading over to the Bulger center. (picture below) The trustees are coming in town on Thursday for the 1st of 2 major meetings we do a year with them. For three years now I have been trying to attend the National Day of Prayer meeting on Capital Hill. I had an opportunity on Thursday; but I am going to fly back for the trustee meetings. All week long the guys in the office have been reminding me of a video I showed last fall. (Keep in mind that the fall for Believe last 2005 was quite difficult with Katrina and gas prices etc . . . / our numbers were really bad. Fortunately we have had such an awesome spring that nobody remembers the fall . . ok, a few people still do, anyway) I had been encouraging Jon in a few areas of offering value and doing work without thought of enumeration. Jon really got in the spirit. The believe team has always wanted to do things to show the trustees in cool ways what they don’t get to see just by sitting in the large boardroom. Jon thought it would be appropriate to make a video while we were in Dallas with students saying, “thank you ciy board of directors”. Jon finished the video and told me the basic premise. I showed the video and then did my spiel. A roasting is pretty much what I got from all the directors in the conference wing. They have been giving me junk about that video since December. It has once again started up in full force. I was blind to the way in which it seemed Believe was begging for mercy. The truth has been told. I am still glad I won’t be in the office Monday – Wednesday to hear the load of sarcasm waiting on me. At CIY, you know you are loved when people feel free to openly ridicule. It is our common love language. You should worry when no buddy makes fun of you. That is a good rule in general for life. I should know, I have been made fun of a lot.
4/28/2006
4/28/06
Jen is upset because she did not want to get hooked on “Lost”. To late for that too.. Then she did not want to get hooked on myspace . . . too late. She is quite funny that way. I was beginning to worry about her computer skills. Luckily she has never asked anyone, “do you have the internet on that computer.” I pretty much have an unspoken rule not to help people with computer problems that ask such questions. For those of you who are confused it is amazing you are even reading a blog right now. (Of coarse someone just printed it off for you.) The internet is not “on” any computers. It is a network . . . any way, I digress. I guess I am thinking about the importance of computer literacy because I have to pick up a book today called, “The world is flat”. From what I gather it is about globalization of economy, society etc. It should be a great read. It made me think of the tower of Babble yesterday. God scattered the people of the earth by confusing their languages. It is funny to me just how we have spent the last 6,000 years trying to fix that one problem. While we now can all speak ‘binary’ we still can’t come even close to understand the cultural contextually meanings that lie between us. This culture talk reminds me of the Believe staff. We have people who all know English but communicate on different levels. Jani is from South Africa and has such a different take than Sara who loves structure but desperately needs more than just one week at Disney (enjoy anyway. . . lucky!) Chase gets to work so early he isn’t even human. As I set there today I kind of laughed at how God works through his Spirit to make such a crazy group like us work so well together. It is like we are all speaking different languages but still understand each other at the same time! Ha! I love rainy days, especially when you get to sit around with friends and have great conversation. (I am lucky enough to get to call these business meetings) It actually was. Team Believe met at my casa this morning to discuss normal business. I am so pumped about next year’s theme and how it is starting to play out. We are in the process of asking some of the best jr high minds in the country to write some lesson plans to precede and proceed the believe event. While Believe has always been a single event it has a larger presence in some ministries because students look forward to it. This year we want the feeling to be, “Spend a quarter with Believe”. The event will be in the middle of 12 lesson plans designed to set your students up with the perfect curriculum pre and post the event. I really think this is only going to make the time spent at the event that much more impact full. This is going to be a sweet addition to the ministry of Believe weekends.
Jen is upset because she did not want to get hooked on “Lost”. To late for that too.. Then she did not want to get hooked on myspace . . . too late. She is quite funny that way. I was beginning to worry about her computer skills. Luckily she has never asked anyone, “do you have the internet on that computer.” I pretty much have an unspoken rule not to help people with computer problems that ask such questions. For those of you who are confused it is amazing you are even reading a blog right now. (Of coarse someone just printed it off for you.) The internet is not “on” any computers. It is a network . . . any way, I digress. I guess I am thinking about the importance of computer literacy because I have to pick up a book today called, “The world is flat”. From what I gather it is about globalization of economy, society etc. It should be a great read. It made me think of the tower of Babble yesterday. God scattered the people of the earth by confusing their languages. It is funny to me just how we have spent the last 6,000 years trying to fix that one problem. While we now can all speak ‘binary’ we still can’t come even close to understand the cultural contextually meanings that lie between us. This culture talk reminds me of the Believe staff. We have people who all know English but communicate on different levels. Jani is from South Africa and has such a different take than Sara who loves structure but desperately needs more than just one week at Disney (enjoy anyway. . . lucky!) Chase gets to work so early he isn’t even human. As I set there today I kind of laughed at how God works through his Spirit to make such a crazy group like us work so well together. It is like we are all speaking different languages but still understand each other at the same time! Ha! I love rainy days, especially when you get to sit around with friends and have great conversation. (I am lucky enough to get to call these business meetings) It actually was. Team Believe met at my casa this morning to discuss normal business. I am so pumped about next year’s theme and how it is starting to play out. We are in the process of asking some of the best jr high minds in the country to write some lesson plans to precede and proceed the believe event. While Believe has always been a single event it has a larger presence in some ministries because students look forward to it. This year we want the feeling to be, “Spend a quarter with Believe”. The event will be in the middle of 12 lesson plans designed to set your students up with the perfect curriculum pre and post the event. I really think this is only going to make the time spent at the event that much more impact full. This is going to be a sweet addition to the ministry of Believe weekends.
4/26/2006
4/26/06
So today is a meeting with 13 youth ministers to discuss the direction and theme for 2007 summer conf theme. It is great. Right now French is laying out His vision, our shared vision, of telling this army of 20,000 students to become kingdom workers. This is huge. Today is the first public unveiling of this vision. Twelve youth ministers from different regions are sitting here listening to this call for the first time. This is funny because, today I was planning on blogging about the unintentional random thought pattern of this daily posting. Yanee has been giving me junk about not being able to read my blog because it is on myspace and they are raunchy! So, for you Yanee, I am going to paste this on my blogspot address for Yanee and the anti myspace group. (I love you all and do not condone students surfing the net without constant adult supervision.) I do feel the need to laugh at some of my own buddies who use their daily posting to be some huge call or serious soap box. I just can’t vomit that stuff out everyday so I am sorry to disappoint you. It happens in my spirit by The Leading of the Holy Spirit in my daily grind. This just isn’t always the place where it gets let out. Sometimes it does. I guess it just depends upon what happens right before I start my five minutes Today has been quite profound, spiritually speaking, for the future of the Summer conference program. I really think that for almost 40 years all of these things have been happening; but now we have some new synergy and language to gather around. A master plan of creating Kindgom Workers over a 5 year layout could challenge students to a revolution. There was a lot of meat and I’ve understated it completely; but the process was invigorating because “iron sharpens iron”.
So today is a meeting with 13 youth ministers to discuss the direction and theme for 2007 summer conf theme. It is great. Right now French is laying out His vision, our shared vision, of telling this army of 20,000 students to become kingdom workers. This is huge. Today is the first public unveiling of this vision. Twelve youth ministers from different regions are sitting here listening to this call for the first time. This is funny because, today I was planning on blogging about the unintentional random thought pattern of this daily posting. Yanee has been giving me junk about not being able to read my blog because it is on myspace and they are raunchy! So, for you Yanee, I am going to paste this on my blogspot address for Yanee and the anti myspace group. (I love you all and do not condone students surfing the net without constant adult supervision.) I do feel the need to laugh at some of my own buddies who use their daily posting to be some huge call or serious soap box. I just can’t vomit that stuff out everyday so I am sorry to disappoint you. It happens in my spirit by The Leading of the Holy Spirit in my daily grind. This just isn’t always the place where it gets let out. Sometimes it does. I guess it just depends upon what happens right before I start my five minutes Today has been quite profound, spiritually speaking, for the future of the Summer conference program. I really think that for almost 40 years all of these things have been happening; but now we have some new synergy and language to gather around. A master plan of creating Kindgom Workers over a 5 year layout could challenge students to a revolution. There was a lot of meat and I’ve understated it completely; but the process was invigorating because “iron sharpens iron”.
4/25/2006
4/25/06
I hate it when there is not a new “Lost” on Wednesday nights. Savannah is a cool town. The last time I was in Savannah, Jen and I flew with Mom and Dad to Jimmy’s graduation at Paris Island. We spent more time in Hilton Head than in Savannah. This is going to be a really cool conference this summer. Last night, Jayson, Gill and I walked down to the river and ate at “Tubby’s” then made our way on tour of the different historical markers in Savannah. John Wesley started the Methodist church in Savannah around 1737. There are little square’s everywhere with park benches and Spanish moss hanging down. Our staff housing is right outside of one these squares. It is amazing to look up at the old trees that must have existed during the civil war. I think the boys are going to have a good time riding bikes around this summer on that square. I can see how this location could become a favorite to many groups in the years to come. It has a cool southern boardwalk feel to it. We were looking for a coffee house last night that French was “sure” was just a few blocks over. An hour later, after giving up on finding the establishment, we found this coffee house on our way back to the hotel. Of coarse Jayson knew it was, “the whole time”. It was one of the coolest coffee houses I have ever been in. With the school of art on campus the venue has a ton of culture. It is going to be hot; but fun. When we get back to the airport we are going to hang around for Matt Reagan to fly in. This week we are flying in 12 guys to help us brainstorm for next year’s theme direction. It is always fun to hang with youth ministers from around the country at the home office. I have been reading this book by Kerry Gleeson and a quote I haven not heard in awhile by Aristotle was at the beginning of a chapter. It reads, “We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.” Chapter 3 has encouraged people to log their time to see what they really do and not what they think they do. I am somewhat afraid to do this; but I know it will be helpful so here goes: I awake on a normal day at 7:00 ish by the sound of any of my three boys. I am out the door at 7:50 with Riley, & next door neighbor, Lexi for school. (I have usually already looked at email from home by this time) I arrive during our conf staff prayer time at about 8:10. (I try to make one phone call in the morning from the previous day’s contact list that I missed before getting out of my truck) This is a fellowship and connecting time that leads into a quick morning check up with Chase, Sara, and Yanee. I settle into my office (which rocks – but Hansen should let us paint the walls) at 8:30 and start with answering email and phone calls. I try to work through to 12:00 on major projects daily communication. (this is interrupted on Tuesday by the Director’s meeting/ Wednesday by all Conference meeting/ and there is usually one other monthly meeting once a week.) Afternoons are set aside for lunch appointments and off-sites to discuss large issues by themselves. I try to spend an hour late in the day reading jr high related material or other books that would have connection to my work at CIY. It seems like I have about 4 books to read right now for networking and roundtable meetings alone. Directly after lunch I spend at least a half an hour on myspace for about 40 minutes updating groups and discussions on Worship topics, themes for various programs. I have to reserve the rest of my day to argue with Jayson, Patrick, Nate, Kevin, Robin and anyone else who stops by. Jen says my blog is random.
I hate it when there is not a new “Lost” on Wednesday nights. Savannah is a cool town. The last time I was in Savannah, Jen and I flew with Mom and Dad to Jimmy’s graduation at Paris Island. We spent more time in Hilton Head than in Savannah. This is going to be a really cool conference this summer. Last night, Jayson, Gill and I walked down to the river and ate at “Tubby’s” then made our way on tour of the different historical markers in Savannah. John Wesley started the Methodist church in Savannah around 1737. There are little square’s everywhere with park benches and Spanish moss hanging down. Our staff housing is right outside of one these squares. It is amazing to look up at the old trees that must have existed during the civil war. I think the boys are going to have a good time riding bikes around this summer on that square. I can see how this location could become a favorite to many groups in the years to come. It has a cool southern boardwalk feel to it. We were looking for a coffee house last night that French was “sure” was just a few blocks over. An hour later, after giving up on finding the establishment, we found this coffee house on our way back to the hotel. Of coarse Jayson knew it was, “the whole time”. It was one of the coolest coffee houses I have ever been in. With the school of art on campus the venue has a ton of culture. It is going to be hot; but fun. When we get back to the airport we are going to hang around for Matt Reagan to fly in. This week we are flying in 12 guys to help us brainstorm for next year’s theme direction. It is always fun to hang with youth ministers from around the country at the home office. I have been reading this book by Kerry Gleeson and a quote I haven not heard in awhile by Aristotle was at the beginning of a chapter. It reads, “We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.” Chapter 3 has encouraged people to log their time to see what they really do and not what they think they do. I am somewhat afraid to do this; but I know it will be helpful so here goes: I awake on a normal day at 7:00 ish by the sound of any of my three boys. I am out the door at 7:50 with Riley, & next door neighbor, Lexi for school. (I have usually already looked at email from home by this time) I arrive during our conf staff prayer time at about 8:10. (I try to make one phone call in the morning from the previous day’s contact list that I missed before getting out of my truck) This is a fellowship and connecting time that leads into a quick morning check up with Chase, Sara, and Yanee. I settle into my office (which rocks – but Hansen should let us paint the walls) at 8:30 and start with answering email and phone calls. I try to work through to 12:00 on major projects daily communication. (this is interrupted on Tuesday by the Director’s meeting/ Wednesday by all Conference meeting/ and there is usually one other monthly meeting once a week.) Afternoons are set aside for lunch appointments and off-sites to discuss large issues by themselves. I try to spend an hour late in the day reading jr high related material or other books that would have connection to my work at CIY. It seems like I have about 4 books to read right now for networking and roundtable meetings alone. Directly after lunch I spend at least a half an hour on myspace for about 40 minutes updating groups and discussions on Worship topics, themes for various programs. I have to reserve the rest of my day to argue with Jayson, Patrick, Nate, Kevin, Robin and anyone else who stops by. Jen says my blog is random.
4/24/2006
4/24/06
I love 80’s rock. I know I am a worship guy and so I am supposed to be one of those stereotypical people that say things like, “music moves me”. Whatever man. The simple fact is that when I am driving to the office at 4:30 am Aerosmith really loud can be a worshipful experience. If I get made fun of for one thing more than any other it would be Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi is my favorite ever. People who don’t know my closest friends and see FR for the first time will make the joke. I guess somewhere along the way little nuances and inflection of Jon’s tone got soaked up into my soul (you can call him Jon when you are an official member of the fan club). I have never been to a Bon Jovi concert ironically. The only 80’s band (and they were more 70’s and 90’s than 80’s) was Areosmith. Jen got me tickets when we lived in Danville to see them at Deer Creek. I think we got in our worst argument ever that night. I don’t remember what it was about; but it happened in the parking lot after the show. All I do recall is that she looked very pretty that night. That was my favorite birthday present Jen ever got me. I saw them at Conseco field house with Greg Frazee and David Thurman once too. Both experiences for me were significant. I love Steven Tyler as a front man. The best part of the show was his harp solo. It was so gritty; but perfect at the same time. Jen hates loud music. I think she had a head ache. I would like to see Bon Jovi sometime. “Lay your hands on me” was the first song I recall waiting to come on the radio. I went through that period (and everyone should do such a cleanse) where I through out all of my secular music and listened only to Christian. It was sometime around my sophomore year in high school. It lasted almost all the way through my first year out of college. (Country music didn’t count because it has always been a part of the ebon flow of my life.) Over the past ten years I have collected back the best stuff. You know all those commercials like Monsters of rock. Yeah, I have every one of those. I also have the very best of Christi Lane thanks to Scott Ensminger. Ha! It was for the best anyway because I had more cassette tapes before. Today CD’s are even worthless. I download everything. It is weird how music from the past means little things now. Certain songs that I used to hate are now even fun to listen to because of the memories that they bring back. I used to ride to school with Brad Breedlove sometimes and he was a bit younger than me. He liked all of that (then) new Seattle stuff. It only reminded me that those were the guys who kicked all my favorite hair bands off the radio over night. Now I actually like Pearl Jam . . . a little. They do have some hard core “r” factor. I am blogging on our flight into Atlanta today. Perhaps this is my topic because I am listening to Poisen, Ride the Wind. I’m very tired. I should have slept on this flight like I promised myself I would do instead of talking shop with French. We are in the process of looking at starting a new jr high only summer program. I am all for it, we just have lots of do to launch 2 new sites in 2007 summer. Is it just me or is everyone reading the Di vinci Code right now. I was going to grab it up; but the recent craze has discouraged me. French has the last season of lost on his I-pod. (Yes he is still flaunting his new video ipod/ I only need two people still to get mine if you are reading this email me and I will send you the link) How can anybody be behind on this show. This must be the best writing I have seen in sometime. It is not just the writing on the show but the internet craze they have created in culture with hidden elements in every show. It is like the show has taken on a separate entertainment portion with jus the after show blogging. It is brilliant. They even have a fake website for the airline (www.oceanicairlines.com).
I love 80’s rock. I know I am a worship guy and so I am supposed to be one of those stereotypical people that say things like, “music moves me”. Whatever man. The simple fact is that when I am driving to the office at 4:30 am Aerosmith really loud can be a worshipful experience. If I get made fun of for one thing more than any other it would be Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi is my favorite ever. People who don’t know my closest friends and see FR for the first time will make the joke. I guess somewhere along the way little nuances and inflection of Jon’s tone got soaked up into my soul (you can call him Jon when you are an official member of the fan club). I have never been to a Bon Jovi concert ironically. The only 80’s band (and they were more 70’s and 90’s than 80’s) was Areosmith. Jen got me tickets when we lived in Danville to see them at Deer Creek. I think we got in our worst argument ever that night. I don’t remember what it was about; but it happened in the parking lot after the show. All I do recall is that she looked very pretty that night. That was my favorite birthday present Jen ever got me. I saw them at Conseco field house with Greg Frazee and David Thurman once too. Both experiences for me were significant. I love Steven Tyler as a front man. The best part of the show was his harp solo. It was so gritty; but perfect at the same time. Jen hates loud music. I think she had a head ache. I would like to see Bon Jovi sometime. “Lay your hands on me” was the first song I recall waiting to come on the radio. I went through that period (and everyone should do such a cleanse) where I through out all of my secular music and listened only to Christian. It was sometime around my sophomore year in high school. It lasted almost all the way through my first year out of college. (Country music didn’t count because it has always been a part of the ebon flow of my life.) Over the past ten years I have collected back the best stuff. You know all those commercials like Monsters of rock. Yeah, I have every one of those. I also have the very best of Christi Lane thanks to Scott Ensminger. Ha! It was for the best anyway because I had more cassette tapes before. Today CD’s are even worthless. I download everything. It is weird how music from the past means little things now. Certain songs that I used to hate are now even fun to listen to because of the memories that they bring back. I used to ride to school with Brad Breedlove sometimes and he was a bit younger than me. He liked all of that (then) new Seattle stuff. It only reminded me that those were the guys who kicked all my favorite hair bands off the radio over night. Now I actually like Pearl Jam . . . a little. They do have some hard core “r” factor. I am blogging on our flight into Atlanta today. Perhaps this is my topic because I am listening to Poisen, Ride the Wind. I’m very tired. I should have slept on this flight like I promised myself I would do instead of talking shop with French. We are in the process of looking at starting a new jr high only summer program. I am all for it, we just have lots of do to launch 2 new sites in 2007 summer. Is it just me or is everyone reading the Di vinci Code right now. I was going to grab it up; but the recent craze has discouraged me. French has the last season of lost on his I-pod. (Yes he is still flaunting his new video ipod/ I only need two people still to get mine if you are reading this email me and I will send you the link) How can anybody be behind on this show. This must be the best writing I have seen in sometime. It is not just the writing on the show but the internet craze they have created in culture with hidden elements in every show. It is like the show has taken on a separate entertainment portion with jus the after show blogging. It is brilliant. They even have a fake website for the airline (www.oceanicairlines.com).
4/23/2006
4/23/06
It is rare for me to fly in one day and leave the next. I am directing a week of conference in Georgia and have never been to the site, so I am leaving in the morning with French to do a site visit. I will be home quickly and then have some time. I am so tired today. Chalk it up to the emotional “finishing” of a tour. The heat is slowly beginning to set in on Joplin. For the first time in our marriage and my career Jen and I can both say that my travels have really slowed down. It is not like it used to be at all. Since I have been flying in and out from the Believe weekends I have only been gone on Friday nights. It has been a blessing to our family. Julie (my sister) stopped by for lunch today with Jen and I after church. I am going to have to find some way to have a mini reprieve here before summer. I’m looking forward to a good two day trip here to Georgia; but it is very hard and Jen for me to leave again so suddenly. With summer coming up I am ready for some hiking with the family too! Jen is a couple of weeks from finishing up with breast feeding Finnley. We are going to do an Isagenix cleanse together. I did two last summer and loved them. America is one of the only cultures not have a systematic fast or cleansing of the body built into it’s structure. Americans will do this from time to time as a weight loss or for health concerns; but it is not like in other countries. With my schedule it is difficult to do the 9 day semi fast but the benefits are huge. I am excited for Jen to do it with me. I will be much more controlled and disciplined if she is on it too. I took a nap while Finnley was sleeping. Jen is outside with Lisa and Tina (two neighbor ladies) sitting in lawn chairs watching the kids play. We live on a cool street. It is nice to be home and especially on Sunday. Another visitor this weekend was Austin Faull. Austin will be with us on the road this summer. I need to get a syllabus to him so he can line his books up. Austin is the son of the preacher from my home church “Mount Gilead”. Jen’s dad is on staff their. It is nice to have faces like Amber and Austin on the road with me so I have others who share in the same taste of what “home” is. I am hoping that Austin has a great summer and clicks really well with people on the road. This could be a huge summer in his faith walk and career path. One of the first books I was going to send to Austin was Donald Miller’s ‘Blue like jazz’. I thought it would be perfect for a kid like me who grew up in the church to read. I was talking to Danny Bradley about it and he said to me, “just don’t send him “blue like jazz”, Jeff(Austin’s dad) doesn’t like Donald Miller”. Ha! I got a real kick out of that. I won’t send that to him first out of respect for Jeff; but I don’t think his summer would be complete without it. I was thinking about, “Velvet Elvis”, “The Barbarian Way” and “Heart of the Artist” as well. It is going to be a good summer . . . now I need to find something that resembles rest and take it in a pill form. “Jen, are my kakis clean?”
It is rare for me to fly in one day and leave the next. I am directing a week of conference in Georgia and have never been to the site, so I am leaving in the morning with French to do a site visit. I will be home quickly and then have some time. I am so tired today. Chalk it up to the emotional “finishing” of a tour. The heat is slowly beginning to set in on Joplin. For the first time in our marriage and my career Jen and I can both say that my travels have really slowed down. It is not like it used to be at all. Since I have been flying in and out from the Believe weekends I have only been gone on Friday nights. It has been a blessing to our family. Julie (my sister) stopped by for lunch today with Jen and I after church. I am going to have to find some way to have a mini reprieve here before summer. I’m looking forward to a good two day trip here to Georgia; but it is very hard and Jen for me to leave again so suddenly. With summer coming up I am ready for some hiking with the family too! Jen is a couple of weeks from finishing up with breast feeding Finnley. We are going to do an Isagenix cleanse together. I did two last summer and loved them. America is one of the only cultures not have a systematic fast or cleansing of the body built into it’s structure. Americans will do this from time to time as a weight loss or for health concerns; but it is not like in other countries. With my schedule it is difficult to do the 9 day semi fast but the benefits are huge. I am excited for Jen to do it with me. I will be much more controlled and disciplined if she is on it too. I took a nap while Finnley was sleeping. Jen is outside with Lisa and Tina (two neighbor ladies) sitting in lawn chairs watching the kids play. We live on a cool street. It is nice to be home and especially on Sunday. Another visitor this weekend was Austin Faull. Austin will be with us on the road this summer. I need to get a syllabus to him so he can line his books up. Austin is the son of the preacher from my home church “Mount Gilead”. Jen’s dad is on staff their. It is nice to have faces like Amber and Austin on the road with me so I have others who share in the same taste of what “home” is. I am hoping that Austin has a great summer and clicks really well with people on the road. This could be a huge summer in his faith walk and career path. One of the first books I was going to send to Austin was Donald Miller’s ‘Blue like jazz’. I thought it would be perfect for a kid like me who grew up in the church to read. I was talking to Danny Bradley about it and he said to me, “just don’t send him “blue like jazz”, Jeff(Austin’s dad) doesn’t like Donald Miller”. Ha! I got a real kick out of that. I won’t send that to him first out of respect for Jeff; but I don’t think his summer would be complete without it. I was thinking about, “Velvet Elvis”, “The Barbarian Way” and “Heart of the Artist” as well. It is going to be a good summer . . . now I need to find something that resembles rest and take it in a pill form. “Jen, are my kakis clean?”
4/22/2006
4/22/06
I usually try to check my email really quick before I leave for the day. When I got up to leave for the weekend yesterday I opened my online email account and a reminder popped up. It was a annual reminder of my Grandpa Brewer’s death. I usually try to call grandma and tell her that I am thinking of him and her on that day. I stood on stage at the new student center Friday night and led worship at Believe with Grandpa on my mind. It was an emotional night for me because I was back home in Indiana, I had so many close friends and family visiting for the weekend and mainly, I’m always emotional at Indiana Believe. We had to move the event from Reardon auditorium to the new wellness center because of large numbers in the last months of registration. It had been a tradition for me and some of the tech guys to just stay in the basement of the auditorium on Friday night instead of trekking back to the hotel. Well, last night Chase and I slept on air mattresses on the floor of the girl’s locker room. It hit me as I laid there what Andy Schroeder said to me as I talked to him about Believe a few years back. Andy told me, at that time, that the hardest part of the weekend for him was when the event was over and the churches would leave so quickly. Often times, event guys, or even worship leaders are so attracted to community. I write about this often. I notice it in myself. Andy said that, “those were lonely times of tearing down and heading out after such a mountain top experience”. I have always remembered that and thought about my viewpoint during tear down in relation to Andy’s. As Mark and I sit on this plane tonight, Mark made a comment along the same lines. He talked about blogging this week on standing in front of 3000 students and how much impact he could make in their life from that position. Mark’s point was that while it is an unforgettable experience with major Spiritual impact on the students lives, the smaller the group the larger the influence one can have upon them. (I have now forgotten where I was because Kevin Greer keeps on nodding off and I am going to try and scare him next time he nods off.) I don’t think I feel alone on this tour very often. Jarret Heaston (formally keys with FR) and Josh Owings (formally drums with FR) visited this weekend with their wives and perhaps that is why I am thinking about this stuff right now. Or perhaps it is, as Jen said, I am a completely emotional person. I called grandma last night after our main worship set and just wanted to tell her that I missed grandpa and she was not alone in her feelings today. I told Jen that in my attempt to comfort grandma I ended up crying on the phone and laughing with grandma that I actually called to make her feel better. Ha! I disagreed with Mark in this way: I think we have the unique opportunity to experience the best of both worlds. While standing in this unique vantage point we share it with a small group of people. This morning we had our “goodbye” service before doors opened. Mark shared some gifts and words to specific people and then we prayed over some others. We have had the time to be in intimate relationships with our small tour family and see 17,000 jr high students at the same time. It was cool. That is not a very profound way to explain the last nine months but it is all that comes to mind right now. Mark is off to Prague for a Sabbatical. Our dancers will be dropped off in St. Louis. Jason will be leaving for his summer Japan trip. Brock will be doing something completely awesome I am sure! I have been doing this a long time. I guess in some weird way when it is time for load out and all of the churches are gone I still feel like Jarret is putting up his keyboard rig. If I think to hard I can hear Mike Rodgers goofing off or Andy Bales laughing at Robbie doing some funny voice. I can even see Grandpa walking around the Ridge company. As Chase and I slept in this empty building where 3000 kids were just jumping around I kind of came to a place where I understand my feelings on Schroeder’s quote. All of these wonderful people who have walked this road with me at one time or another will always be with me at load out. I like load out. It is like the calm after the storm. It is peaceful. I am always looking over my shoulder for Josh to be tossing a roll of gaffer’s tape or something. Heaven is going to be an incredible place. I can’t wait to worship with you again Grandpa. I have a ton of friends to introduce to you. I miss you.
peaceout
I usually try to check my email really quick before I leave for the day. When I got up to leave for the weekend yesterday I opened my online email account and a reminder popped up. It was a annual reminder of my Grandpa Brewer’s death. I usually try to call grandma and tell her that I am thinking of him and her on that day. I stood on stage at the new student center Friday night and led worship at Believe with Grandpa on my mind. It was an emotional night for me because I was back home in Indiana, I had so many close friends and family visiting for the weekend and mainly, I’m always emotional at Indiana Believe. We had to move the event from Reardon auditorium to the new wellness center because of large numbers in the last months of registration. It had been a tradition for me and some of the tech guys to just stay in the basement of the auditorium on Friday night instead of trekking back to the hotel. Well, last night Chase and I slept on air mattresses on the floor of the girl’s locker room. It hit me as I laid there what Andy Schroeder said to me as I talked to him about Believe a few years back. Andy told me, at that time, that the hardest part of the weekend for him was when the event was over and the churches would leave so quickly. Often times, event guys, or even worship leaders are so attracted to community. I write about this often. I notice it in myself. Andy said that, “those were lonely times of tearing down and heading out after such a mountain top experience”. I have always remembered that and thought about my viewpoint during tear down in relation to Andy’s. As Mark and I sit on this plane tonight, Mark made a comment along the same lines. He talked about blogging this week on standing in front of 3000 students and how much impact he could make in their life from that position. Mark’s point was that while it is an unforgettable experience with major Spiritual impact on the students lives, the smaller the group the larger the influence one can have upon them. (I have now forgotten where I was because Kevin Greer keeps on nodding off and I am going to try and scare him next time he nods off.) I don’t think I feel alone on this tour very often. Jarret Heaston (formally keys with FR) and Josh Owings (formally drums with FR) visited this weekend with their wives and perhaps that is why I am thinking about this stuff right now. Or perhaps it is, as Jen said, I am a completely emotional person. I called grandma last night after our main worship set and just wanted to tell her that I missed grandpa and she was not alone in her feelings today. I told Jen that in my attempt to comfort grandma I ended up crying on the phone and laughing with grandma that I actually called to make her feel better. Ha! I disagreed with Mark in this way: I think we have the unique opportunity to experience the best of both worlds. While standing in this unique vantage point we share it with a small group of people. This morning we had our “goodbye” service before doors opened. Mark shared some gifts and words to specific people and then we prayed over some others. We have had the time to be in intimate relationships with our small tour family and see 17,000 jr high students at the same time. It was cool. That is not a very profound way to explain the last nine months but it is all that comes to mind right now. Mark is off to Prague for a Sabbatical. Our dancers will be dropped off in St. Louis. Jason will be leaving for his summer Japan trip. Brock will be doing something completely awesome I am sure! I have been doing this a long time. I guess in some weird way when it is time for load out and all of the churches are gone I still feel like Jarret is putting up his keyboard rig. If I think to hard I can hear Mike Rodgers goofing off or Andy Bales laughing at Robbie doing some funny voice. I can even see Grandpa walking around the Ridge company. As Chase and I slept in this empty building where 3000 kids were just jumping around I kind of came to a place where I understand my feelings on Schroeder’s quote. All of these wonderful people who have walked this road with me at one time or another will always be with me at load out. I like load out. It is like the calm after the storm. It is peaceful. I am always looking over my shoulder for Josh to be tossing a roll of gaffer’s tape or something. Heaven is going to be an incredible place. I can’t wait to worship with you again Grandpa. I have a ton of friends to introduce to you. I miss you.
peaceout
4/21/2006
4/21/06
While this weekend is the last believe event of this theme’s tour I am not done traveling for the spring. I am reading a book on flights today by Scot McKnight entitled “Embracing Grace: a grace for all of us”. This book is pre-study for a jr high roundtable I will attend in CO next month. I am turning 30 years old two days before I leave. As I read I am drawn in to the thought that we are made in the image of God (a God that lives in community). As I grow older and look at the things I value community is high on my “needs” list. I have loved the church since I was a child. My most vivid memories as a child were of going to church or talking about church or my parents hanging out with people from church. Concerts were a big deal to my dad, not for the show; but the community. I remember being called up on stage with all the other kids at a Sandy Pattie show. I can recall road trips to see: David and the Giants, Dallas Holm & Praise, Leon Potelo (especially “The Sky is the Limit” tour), of coarse Carmen, Brian Duncan, Servant, the Kingsmen, Aundrey Crouch, The Imperials, Russ Taft by himself, Petra and my favorite – Whiteheart. I bring all of these things up because they had a deep impact on my faithwalk. As I read my picture Bible I saw myself as young David. I deeply wanted to follow God and be his warrior. I deeply felt his approval and acceptance over me. I remember the first time a wedge was driven into that relationship. A kid who lived next to us showed me a ripped up picture of a naked lady from his father’s porn collection. I was about 11 year’s old. This idea of a personal relationship with Jesus is such a journey. I have inherited so many good things from my father. One trait I see in me that I try to battle with truth is guilt. Dad has struggled with so much guilt in his life and much of that I think is from our legalistic heritage. As “Embracing Grace” reminded me that the term “personal relationship with Jesus” isn’t found in the gospels. When I hear a speaker or song try to define the success of my personal walk with questions like, “how are you and Jesus doing” I don’t always feel successful. I have not been able to put into words for quite sometime just how much more complex my view of God’s Lordship, and unity with me currently might be. I am, in McKnight’s words, a cracked Eikon. I am a cracked person who was originally made in the image of God but fell from that. God is putting me back together. Jesus’ cross, death, resurrection, (ransom, atonement) play a part in that; but so does the church and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
On Wednesday nights I lead worship for about 50 high school students in a small room and my good friend Jayson speaks from 2 Samuel. We are looking at the life of David and so much of this is good for my soul because David was a warrior leader and it is just great stuff to learn from as a leader. I have such a different view now of David than I did from my picture Bible days. I see David the murderer, the adulterer, the spineless decision maker, the ‘easy way out guy’ and I have to harmonize that with, “David- a man after God’s own heart”. I grew from the boy who felt like young David in perfect harmony with God to a young man struggling to live a life above reproach (often falling quite short). I came to have my own concept of God’s holiness but was too familiar with guilt from not achieving it. I realize more so every day that I am a cracked Eikon that needs fixed. I can not fix it. God alone reserves that right. I am more like the older David. Through the power of the Gospel I am on a collision path to encounter God in all of his glory. It is only through this process of living in the Grace of God that I can truly start to feel His embrace and see how it was there all along my path. I am not an individual. I was not created to be an independent being. I was created for community. My understanding of God’s grace will greatly reflect how I serve, enjoy and draw others into this community.
While this weekend is the last believe event of this theme’s tour I am not done traveling for the spring. I am reading a book on flights today by Scot McKnight entitled “Embracing Grace: a grace for all of us”. This book is pre-study for a jr high roundtable I will attend in CO next month. I am turning 30 years old two days before I leave. As I read I am drawn in to the thought that we are made in the image of God (a God that lives in community). As I grow older and look at the things I value community is high on my “needs” list. I have loved the church since I was a child. My most vivid memories as a child were of going to church or talking about church or my parents hanging out with people from church. Concerts were a big deal to my dad, not for the show; but the community. I remember being called up on stage with all the other kids at a Sandy Pattie show. I can recall road trips to see: David and the Giants, Dallas Holm & Praise, Leon Potelo (especially “The Sky is the Limit” tour), of coarse Carmen, Brian Duncan, Servant, the Kingsmen, Aundrey Crouch, The Imperials, Russ Taft by himself, Petra and my favorite – Whiteheart. I bring all of these things up because they had a deep impact on my faithwalk. As I read my picture Bible I saw myself as young David. I deeply wanted to follow God and be his warrior. I deeply felt his approval and acceptance over me. I remember the first time a wedge was driven into that relationship. A kid who lived next to us showed me a ripped up picture of a naked lady from his father’s porn collection. I was about 11 year’s old. This idea of a personal relationship with Jesus is such a journey. I have inherited so many good things from my father. One trait I see in me that I try to battle with truth is guilt. Dad has struggled with so much guilt in his life and much of that I think is from our legalistic heritage. As “Embracing Grace” reminded me that the term “personal relationship with Jesus” isn’t found in the gospels. When I hear a speaker or song try to define the success of my personal walk with questions like, “how are you and Jesus doing” I don’t always feel successful. I have not been able to put into words for quite sometime just how much more complex my view of God’s Lordship, and unity with me currently might be. I am, in McKnight’s words, a cracked Eikon. I am a cracked person who was originally made in the image of God but fell from that. God is putting me back together. Jesus’ cross, death, resurrection, (ransom, atonement) play a part in that; but so does the church and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
On Wednesday nights I lead worship for about 50 high school students in a small room and my good friend Jayson speaks from 2 Samuel. We are looking at the life of David and so much of this is good for my soul because David was a warrior leader and it is just great stuff to learn from as a leader. I have such a different view now of David than I did from my picture Bible days. I see David the murderer, the adulterer, the spineless decision maker, the ‘easy way out guy’ and I have to harmonize that with, “David- a man after God’s own heart”. I grew from the boy who felt like young David in perfect harmony with God to a young man struggling to live a life above reproach (often falling quite short). I came to have my own concept of God’s holiness but was too familiar with guilt from not achieving it. I realize more so every day that I am a cracked Eikon that needs fixed. I can not fix it. God alone reserves that right. I am more like the older David. Through the power of the Gospel I am on a collision path to encounter God in all of his glory. It is only through this process of living in the Grace of God that I can truly start to feel His embrace and see how it was there all along my path. I am not an individual. I was not created to be an independent being. I was created for community. My understanding of God’s grace will greatly reflect how I serve, enjoy and draw others into this community.
4/20/2006
4/20/06
There is something very sad about ending a tour. I am really going to miss these interns and Mark. The statement is so true about iron sharpening iron. One of the greatest blessings to me this past year has been the time over flights and dinners I have spent with Mark. Mark has encouraged me in my marriage, my personal finance, my education, my reading, my appreciation for art, and many hard laughs. The Believe team left early today and I fly out tomorrow at 11:00 from Springfield. Kevin Greer will be going with Mark and I on this last trip. Big Daddy Shaf is picking us up at the airport, so it should be a great time. Things are starting to pick up around the office here in anticipation for the summer. It is time to say goodbye to the Believe tour for now; but my heart is already swarmed with details for next year. Yesterday at ball (our regular Wednesday meeting) Randy Shivers played with us. Randy has a daughter attending Ozark so he was visiting her. Randy has taken students to Believe in Cincy for years and always has a critical viewpoint to offer. It was encouraging to talk with him about the direction of the program and just feel from a veteran a sense that I am not alone on a island with Believe. Not only am I surrounded by guys like Mark daily engaging my mind and heart; but there is a consortium of student leaders across this country that poor into my email and voicemail their direction, ideas, critics, affirmation, and when needed rebuke. God disciplines the son he loves. God also delights in giving good gifts. In my life, I see this most clearly through the community of the Church. I feel God’s leading and provision through sharing my faith walk with brothers. I envision myself in the cleft of God’s hand through this network of jr high ministers who share the vision of the Believe weekend experience. I spent much of my life growing up in Colorado; but Indiana will always be home. It will be good to end this tour at home. I am drawn back to last year’s Indiana event and saying goodbye to my good friend Jeffrey Dean who spoke last year and now Mark will be going on Sabbatical to Prague. Thank you God for Mark; and his influence on my life. Thank you for the web you have surrounded me with in this office and out. May your Spirit continue to soften my heart to You. May I always submit when the words are from You. May I have the wisdom to reject the words that are not from you. Let’s do this!
There is something very sad about ending a tour. I am really going to miss these interns and Mark. The statement is so true about iron sharpening iron. One of the greatest blessings to me this past year has been the time over flights and dinners I have spent with Mark. Mark has encouraged me in my marriage, my personal finance, my education, my reading, my appreciation for art, and many hard laughs. The Believe team left early today and I fly out tomorrow at 11:00 from Springfield. Kevin Greer will be going with Mark and I on this last trip. Big Daddy Shaf is picking us up at the airport, so it should be a great time. Things are starting to pick up around the office here in anticipation for the summer. It is time to say goodbye to the Believe tour for now; but my heart is already swarmed with details for next year. Yesterday at ball (our regular Wednesday meeting) Randy Shivers played with us. Randy has a daughter attending Ozark so he was visiting her. Randy has taken students to Believe in Cincy for years and always has a critical viewpoint to offer. It was encouraging to talk with him about the direction of the program and just feel from a veteran a sense that I am not alone on a island with Believe. Not only am I surrounded by guys like Mark daily engaging my mind and heart; but there is a consortium of student leaders across this country that poor into my email and voicemail their direction, ideas, critics, affirmation, and when needed rebuke. God disciplines the son he loves. God also delights in giving good gifts. In my life, I see this most clearly through the community of the Church. I feel God’s leading and provision through sharing my faith walk with brothers. I envision myself in the cleft of God’s hand through this network of jr high ministers who share the vision of the Believe weekend experience. I spent much of my life growing up in Colorado; but Indiana will always be home. It will be good to end this tour at home. I am drawn back to last year’s Indiana event and saying goodbye to my good friend Jeffrey Dean who spoke last year and now Mark will be going on Sabbatical to Prague. Thank you God for Mark; and his influence on my life. Thank you for the web you have surrounded me with in this office and out. May your Spirit continue to soften my heart to You. May I always submit when the words are from You. May I have the wisdom to reject the words that are not from you. Let’s do this!
4/19/2006
Charles Dickens once said, "I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time."
I show up to the office everyday about 10 minutes after everyone else. When I worked at Northview Christian Church in Danville IN we had a day care program and one of the rooms was across from my office. Audrey Norman was an elders wife and a teacher for the class across from my sweet office pad. Needless to say, Audrey had a “saucy” way about her. We didn’t so much communicate with each other so much as snap back and forth like Clams that didn’t have enough energy for a all out war, just enough for biting sarcasm. Audrey would say to me as I entered the building every morning, “Banker’s hours hey?!”. My response, like clock work, “I haven’t ever seen a bank open at midnight!”. Both of us would walk away as though we had scored a point in the ongoing quipish war. It was enjoyable! I am ten minutes late every day now because I drop Riley off at Mrs. Goswick’s 1st grade class in Webster Elementary school. There is something cool about your kids still wanting you to drop them off at school. I hear that changes later on.
As I read this quote this morning I thought of 3 people that embody the essence of this everyday. Chase Allcott, Sara Hill and Yanee Bravenboer are, respectively, Program Assistant, Program Assistant and Administrative Assistants in the Conference wing at Christ In Youth. And over the past year these 3 friends of mine have served this ministry, me and ultimately Jesus with their great attitudes and selflessness. Chase has taken on the leadership of the team when traveling to allow me to fly to every event (so I can drive Riley to school a few more days a week); Sara's 9 years with this ministry has given priceless direction and guidance that only she has the experience to offer and Yanee has modeled for all of us this year an attitude of complete submission before the father. I have said it more than once and it bears repeating, “Yanee has a special spiritual quality of a “glue” like substance that holds teams together.” On a year where we have had many young feuding interns this has been especially trying for her temperament. You have all grown so much this year and I am humbled to work with you. I am indebted to you. My family is indebted to you. Thank you for working with me to make Christ In Youth conferences rock. I love you guys.
I show up to the office everyday about 10 minutes after everyone else. When I worked at Northview Christian Church in Danville IN we had a day care program and one of the rooms was across from my office. Audrey Norman was an elders wife and a teacher for the class across from my sweet office pad. Needless to say, Audrey had a “saucy” way about her. We didn’t so much communicate with each other so much as snap back and forth like Clams that didn’t have enough energy for a all out war, just enough for biting sarcasm. Audrey would say to me as I entered the building every morning, “Banker’s hours hey?!”. My response, like clock work, “I haven’t ever seen a bank open at midnight!”. Both of us would walk away as though we had scored a point in the ongoing quipish war. It was enjoyable! I am ten minutes late every day now because I drop Riley off at Mrs. Goswick’s 1st grade class in Webster Elementary school. There is something cool about your kids still wanting you to drop them off at school. I hear that changes later on.
As I read this quote this morning I thought of 3 people that embody the essence of this everyday. Chase Allcott, Sara Hill and Yanee Bravenboer are, respectively, Program Assistant, Program Assistant and Administrative Assistants in the Conference wing at Christ In Youth. And over the past year these 3 friends of mine have served this ministry, me and ultimately Jesus with their great attitudes and selflessness. Chase has taken on the leadership of the team when traveling to allow me to fly to every event (so I can drive Riley to school a few more days a week); Sara's 9 years with this ministry has given priceless direction and guidance that only she has the experience to offer and Yanee has modeled for all of us this year an attitude of complete submission before the father. I have said it more than once and it bears repeating, “Yanee has a special spiritual quality of a “glue” like substance that holds teams together.” On a year where we have had many young feuding interns this has been especially trying for her temperament. You have all grown so much this year and I am humbled to work with you. I am indebted to you. My family is indebted to you. Thank you for working with me to make Christ In Youth conferences rock. I love you guys.
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