Captain Para Church Event guy (that is my self mocking super hero name)

I don’t know why so many ministers at some time in their lives become involved in Multi Level Marketing. Whatever it is, this is the same phenomena that explains why ministers go

into car or insurance sales after leaving ministry. My whacked personal church history is just as
crazy across the board as my (indirectly) contact with guys who have meetings
in hotel ballrooms and draw circles. My father,
my stepfather, my father in law all have at some point asked me to tag along to
some presentation such as the one I find myself in tonight. A summery:
Sasco, Amway, Quickstar, Mary Kay, Excel and tonight’s presentation –
Isagenix. My step dad is a rep who sells
this toxic cleansing systems. I have
personally made periodic cleansing a part of my health cycle. The product is great. I am going to have some fun with this presentation tonight though.

What is funny to me is that over the years (and I have been to many events such as this) I have become quite the student of sales presentations like the one I am typing about right now. I would actually enjoy doing consulting with guys like Pete tonight about their presentation . .

ah, nice, Pete just inserted one of my favorite lame jokes in a fashion that
takes trite to a whole new level. I feel
bad. This guy’s content is great. It is not that I don’t believe in the
product, it’s the “feel” that is nauseating!
He uses pauses like a tent revival preacher slowly working up to his
ask. I am just numb. Ha! It
is a good thing I have a month off right now.
I am here tonight because I love dad and he is kicking it selling this
cleansing product.

Homeboy just presented the scariest picture of the toxic chemicals in the human body
today I have ever heard. So we still have longer life spans today than we ever had.
Okay, best joke of the night: “I was
inside size 34 jeans my stomach just wasn’t.”
OOooo he is closing right now.
Cue music, seriously, Pete (picture Al Piccino) could use some help from Captain Para Church
Event guy (that is my self mocking super hero name). Wow, at the end of this sermon (cough)
presentation, it comes down to a decision.
. . . All I am saying is that if he would have us stand and turn the
lights off it would help . . . maybe plant a few staff to start coming forward
right before the big chorus (I have never done this at Believe!) . . . I am bad.
Good night
. .
. never mind, the planted people just hit their mark NICE! Last thing I am going to type: I just heard someone say Amen on the other
side of the room . . . I would so love to write a mocumentary with Eugene Levy on
something like this!! HILARIOUS

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