The greatest Valentines Day Gift I could give my wife . . . I know some of you were quite fearful of reading on . . . but you did because you are sick like that. Tomorrow morning I will attempt to hold back the three boys who live at my house. They can sniff out a sleeping Mommy. They just feel it in their deepest being. It is as if I can actually here them saying to themselves, “Hey, is my Mommy sleeping? I will not have it! Wake up woman! Wake up and get me something! Anything, just wake up!”.
I announced my ambitious plans to my wife on the eve of Valentine’s Day: “Honey, I am going to wake up and make you breakfast in the morning while you sleep in. What do you want for breakfast?”
- “biscuits and gravy would be great.” (only a small hint of skepticism heard in her voice)
. . . “Honey, how do you make biscuits and gravy, I mean, if you were going to do it? I know how I would do it. I am just wondering how you would do it is all.”
Please hold your applause. While I did have the best of intentions it didn’t exactly work out. I pictured her sleeping in and waking up to breakfast in bed. I wanted to hear her say that she was completely refueled. Of course, I am a guy and that would be me ‘fixing’ something. How I long to fix things.
Let’s just say it was rough. My youngest son, Finnley, was in his chair yelling some of the most unintelligible things I have ever heard. I have had animals communicate more clearly their desires than the interaction I was experiencing with my son. Jen came out into the kitchen, “He is asking for a drink and his blanky.” I don’t think a team of voice analyzers could have broken that code. Mom knew what he was saying.
For about two weeks the commercials have been playing telling all of us how perfect this holiday should be. Reality is actually better than the picture we see portrayed to us on television. I would be homicidal if I had to live in a Hallmark ad.